Monday, February 24, 2014

The Deep Love of a Mother and Her Child (Evan's Story)

My grandmother was my care provider for nine years, because my mother was always on drugs that played a big part in my life growing up. I was a teen mom at the age of 15. My grandmother gave me up to DCFS at the age of 13. I don’t have any family support that really cares about me and my son. I was homeless for ten years, in my life. Going place to place, some nights I didn’t have any food to eat. I slept in abandoned buildings, cold cars and even on the train. No one really cared about me at all. I have always been alone to fight all my battles. I never wanted any sympathy for my situation; I just wanted a support system and love.

Evan, my first son, was born August 2005. He was removed from the Maryville group home where I stayed for two years. He was taken when I was 16 year old, during the year of 2006. DCFS came and took him. They took him to a place on Montrose Ave. a place for infants, girls and boys. The worst place a child can go. What happened when my son was taken from the group home was that they were accusing me of a lot of arguing, allegations of neglect and abuse. This was because the home we lived in didn't want me to have my son; they were trying to take a lot of our kids out of the home.

When DCFS came and took Evan they kept him from me for 8 years. That was a very hard time in my life. I felt lonely, rejected and miserable. During this period, I had to battle with depression and that emotion affected my self-esteem and progress in high school. My social life also was affected by this unfortunate situation. It took a lot of perseverance and faith to keep pushing myself through this time in my life. Although I didn’t always feel confident about the outcome, I continued to fight to regain custody of Evan.

It was very difficult to fight the allegations that were put on me. It felt like a game of chess. That I could not win. I still feel like the outcome was unlawful and if I could I would have continued to fight the judgment in higher levels of court. However, I really didn’t have enough money to keep up the fight. I tried to find a pro-bono lawyer to take my case, but they all wanted money and none of them could guarantee that I could get my son back. Even though there were errors in the case, since the state was both my representative and prosecuting the case against me. It was a no win case for me.  

Now I am trying to move on with my life. There is always a feeling of incompleteness that I struggle with. However, this situation continues to motivate me to become successful. I have come a long way despite this and other obstacles in my life. I have my own apartment, I have a second son, and I am focused on getting my education for my children and also for myself. This unfortunate situation didn’t break me down, it made me stronger and more determined to do and expect better things of myself. I will not let the decisions of others define my character or define what I turn out to be.


Takara

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