First Time Parent

A struggle I overcame, well to start, I never finished school. I dropped out in the 10^th grade young, dumb, and thinking that was cool. Why? I really don’t know, young love was something like amazing to me thinking someone really loves you.

Then you get pregnant and find out it wasn’t love, it was lust. Then for nine months you realize you’re really alone now, feeling kind of mad that you got pregnant and wishing then that you could start over. But it’s too late, now you have something growing inside of you. Knowing you are too young for this, but realizing it’s time to grow up. You’re having a baby. Sometimes you don’t want to acknowledge it, but when your stomach starts growing and something is moving around in you, that is really amazing.  You say to yourself, “I’m going to be a mother”.

I remember thinking, “What is this going to be like?” I would think about a pretty little girl and dressing her up. Then I remembered when my little sister was sick and she cried so much that I couldn’t stand it. She was very hot with a fever, and vomiting all over everything. I felt sorry for her and wanted to cuddle her up in my arms and stop her from crying and make her feel better. Then I thought, “That’s something a mother has to do!” And babies crying in the middle of the night and changing pampers, “OH MY GOD!” It was driving me crazy just thinking about it.

Now I’m nine months and very big, soon to have this baby.  I was getting scared thinking about being in labor. I was terrified because some of my friends started telling me about when they were in labor and what happened and how it hurt “WOW”. Two days later, I went in labor. My water broke and I had labor pains for eighteen minutes before I delivered a 9lbs 6ounce baby boy; it wasn’t as bad as people say. I’m not scared anymore. He’s here now, and I’m a mother.            

Tonie

Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover

                There was a homeless man I helped, because I thought in my mind, “what if that was me, I would want someone to help me.” I went to that bus stop every morning going to work; he was always there. I really started feeling like this could happen to anyone. He begged everyone, asking for a dollar to buy a cup of coffee from the restaurant across the street. So, I went and bought him a cup of coffee.

                The next day, I brought him some soup in a bowl that stays warm, an old thermal shirt I had, and plastic spoon. I told him to keep the bowl and spoon in his bag. This was Mon through Fri that I saw this man I kind of felt like I could make just a little difference in his life. So on a Saturday, I went up there brought him breakfast and a blanket; I even talked with him for a while.

                We started talking about shelters somewhere he could get warm. Eventually, he told me a little about why he was homeless. He started by telling me his name, Johnathan. He told me he used to have his own place and a job. While he was working his mother passed and his sister took over his mother’s house and her and her children and her boyfriend moved in. Shortly after his mother’s death, he lost his job and his place, so he moved in with his sister. Then, Johnathan and his sister’s boyfriend had lots of disagreements, and one day he jumped on Johnathan. So, he no longer felt safe there and he left, with nowhere to go he ended up sleeping in the park and has been out ever since.

                Our conversations and bringing him things that I thought he might need started to make me feel good and he made me feel special, because he looked for me and greeted all the time. Lesson learned. “Don’t judge a book by its cover!” Johnathan was a very intelligent person, spoke proper English and I was surprised why he chose the street.

One morning, I went to the bus stop and I was bringing him something to eat, and he wasn’t there.  I’ve never seen him again. I really started to miss him. I always wonder, “is he all right?” I hope he’s fine. Sometimes it’s all right to help people.

Tonie