Stopping the Generational Curse of Teenage Pregnancy in My Family

My story began when I noticed that my daughters were growing up to be young ladies. They didn’t look like the little girls that were jumping rope in the front yard. They were now 12,14 and 16; I knew I had to talk to my daughters about the changes in their bodies. I knew they might know some things about sex, but I wanted to make sure they heard it from me.

I was a working, single parent with six children total. Being a single parent has many challenges. That’s why I didn’t want my girls to have to go through that. I remember when I had my first child I was just 15!!! WOW, I was a freshman in high school trying to take care of an infant and continue high school. That was one of the hardest things I had to do. My parents would not help me at all. As I looked at my daughters a fear came over me that it could happen to one of them.  And because of me being a teenage MOM, I wasn’t going let my girls follow in my foot-steps.

I knew it would be hard to keep an eye on them 24 hours a day. By now I had two in high school and, where there are girls, there are BOYS. I had the mother daughter talk with them, but it seems that they didn’t take it too serious. My middle daughter would make statement that “I don't like those ugly boys.” What I had said to her went in one ear and out the other. There were a couple of girls that were friends of my two older girls that were pregnant; one of the girls was best friend to my oldest daughter. That made me a really mad woman. I was determined that my girls would not have children too early. I wanted them to finish high school and go to college. I would use threats and intimidation. It wasn’t nice is all I'm going to say.

I knew that eventually, that one day, one of them would meet some boy that they would like. Somehow I heard about this prevention program that parents would allow teens to pick up contraception after their parents have signed them up. Now I told them, “Just because you have protection doesn’t mean you are allowed to be having SEX.” I would still beat the ---------- out of them. After all my efforts, two of my daughters did get their high school diploma without having any children. I am very proud that my girls waited for the right time to have children.

They are all grown up and have their own children now. I just didn’t want them to struggle like I did having children too soon. 

Sheila

Something That Made Me Feel Good About It.

It was about six years ago I had the opportunity to advocate for a young mother and her six children to find housing. She was a victim of Domestic Violence that’s how we came to know one another. She didn’t have anywhere to go with her children and finding housing was very hard. Due to the nature of her case we had to try every resource that was given to us. It seemed like the leads we’d get were useless. Some days I would stay late after work trying to find resource with no avail. My client was afraid that The Department of Children and Family Services would step in and remove her children from her.

Then one day I was talking with another one of my co-workers about my case and she said that she might have something that might possibly help. That was music to my ears. It was nearing Thanksgiving and I wanted my client to have a good holiday. I followed up with the lead that was given to me. I spoke with a service provider, his name was Mr. B, and he said that he didn’t have anything at that time. He said to call back in a week, so I did, but he was out on vacation for two week. That made me so MAD! I kept calling once a week and one day I spoke to a lady named Sue. She asked how could she help, I gave her a history of my client and how many children were involved.  She asked how large of an apartment would she need. I told her, and she said that they may have something coming up soon. That made me so HAPPY!!! I screamed in the phone. I was happy for my family. Sue didn’t say that she could get the apartment, but when I finished she was convinced that my client needed that apartment.  I had a hard time finding housing for this family. Being a go-between in the system of bureaucracy made me realize that the system can be challenged. 

Sheila