First Time Parent

A struggle I overcame, well to start, I never finished school. I dropped out in the 10^th grade young, dumb, and thinking that was cool. Why? I really don’t know, young love was something like amazing to me thinking someone really loves you.

Then you get pregnant and find out it wasn’t love, it was lust. Then for nine months you realize you’re really alone now, feeling kind of mad that you got pregnant and wishing then that you could start over. But it’s too late, now you have something growing inside of you. Knowing you are too young for this, but realizing it’s time to grow up. You’re having a baby. Sometimes you don’t want to acknowledge it, but when your stomach starts growing and something is moving around in you, that is really amazing.  You say to yourself, “I’m going to be a mother”.

I remember thinking, “What is this going to be like?” I would think about a pretty little girl and dressing her up. Then I remembered when my little sister was sick and she cried so much that I couldn’t stand it. She was very hot with a fever, and vomiting all over everything. I felt sorry for her and wanted to cuddle her up in my arms and stop her from crying and make her feel better. Then I thought, “That’s something a mother has to do!” And babies crying in the middle of the night and changing pampers, “OH MY GOD!” It was driving me crazy just thinking about it.

Now I’m nine months and very big, soon to have this baby.  I was getting scared thinking about being in labor. I was terrified because some of my friends started telling me about when they were in labor and what happened and how it hurt “WOW”. Two days later, I went in labor. My water broke and I had labor pains for eighteen minutes before I delivered a 9lbs 6ounce baby boy; it wasn’t as bad as people say. I’m not scared anymore. He’s here now, and I’m a mother.            

Tonie